no reason

no reason

Haven't been feeling well lately, very moody.

I apologize if I've caused any worries or misunderstandings.

Don't know what is the reason either,

just don't feel very good.

Even if I gotten my skates already,

still feeling very negative.

I just can't stop thinking about negative stuff.

Think I'm going crazy.

I feel like I have split personality,

maybe thats why nobody want to talk to me.

I close up myself too much.

Sometimes find myself standing there alone,

with all the other people surrounding me,

talking in their groups.

This happened too much already,

but I can't seem to find the courage to approach.

Remember when we gathered for a concert,

to bid our Guides seniors farewell.

As the concert ended,

everybody started to gather around the seniors.

That was when I realise,

I didn't knew anyone at all.

I just stood around the exit of our hall,

and watch the night sky.

I force myself not to think too much,

while forcing my tears back in.

I hate myself for being timid.

I hate myself for thinking too much.

I hate myself for being so closed up.

I hate being lonely.

I hate having to type all this in my blog.

I never seem to get anything right.

I hate my life.

I don't belong in this world.