useless self

useless self

had a great time just now,

coz went skating,

the thing is,

with evon n jean!!

so long nvr skate together le.

i meant like very little time

do the 4 of us actually get together.

maybe i'm still not used to it,

but everytime evon n jean nvr go,

and ever since hh got 'new life',

nvr really been spending a lot of time with her.

i'm not saying its bad or anything,

probably i still cant accept the fact that

she already has 'new life'.

i can't help but to feel lonely

everytime i skate w/o the 2.

i'm not complaining or anything.

i know how it will be like if

I was the one who got the 'new life'.

I am VERY dependable on others.

as in, even if I was to miss my last train,

I don't mind hanging out with the rest

for a little while more.

I go with the majority bah.

haiz.so sad.say myself til

I like got no backbone.

another thing is that,

I hate myself for bring so timid.

already tell people so long nvr see le,

suddenly appear,

then I got no guts to talk to the person.

make us feel like strangers,

or like we had a little fight.

What's wrong with me ar?

is that why i always like

people to approach me

rather than I go talk to them first?

I can't seem to gather enough courage to

actually start a conversation leh.

can anyone help me?

oh, how i dislike myself SO VERY much!

sorry, for acting like a total idiot

in front of you.

just know that I do cherish

the friendship we have is enough.