Start all over?!

Start all over?!

Hmm... looks like it starts all over

EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Not that I'm blaming on anyone,

(actually blaming myself only.)

I find myself once again,

out of bound of my OWN room.

(Irony huh?)

Once again, I can't find a room

that will accomodate me and my privacy.

No point fighting with my Bro over his own room,

no point staying in my parent's room

when clearly it's nt private at all,

Dining room (where I used to place my laptop)

is also out of bound of all electronics, except food.

The Famliy lounge is basically not a conducive place

to use a laptop either. (no table and definitely privacy)

All I have that has proper air ventilation is the Living room.

Yup, I'm going to be stuck here

doing reports, projects, surfing the net etc..

ALL on the COLD HARD FLOOR.

I don't know if I got to this on my own,

but I'm sure, Nth seems to fit in well now.

I have to put up in my brother's room

for the next 1 month?!

And just let u know,

my brothers room is twice smaller than mine,

in terms of WALKING space.

And add my mattress on the floor?!

That makes only a few steps possible.

My room is CLEARLY better for 2 person,

but somehow I'm stuck in his room.

Oh ya, forgot to add.

My grandpa has come to stay at our house,

so out of respect etc,

he is going to put up in my room.

No problem with that,

I'm absolutely fine with it.

But just to think that,

I won't have the privacy I can go to,

like if I'm deep in thoughts,

I will close myself in my room and think.

Now I can't..

RIGHT NOW?

My bro is in his room,

my mum is in her room,

my dad is in the family lounge using computer,

I'm stuck in the living room with grandpa and aunty

and they are watching TV (China Ch)

And you ppl will know how VERY MUCH I 'HATE' C***A stuff.

Doesn't make anything better

when the volume is extra high at the moment.

Anyway, as I said,

got nothing to blame it on except myself.

I don't seem to be able to adapt well.

I thought I could.

But everytime I need to get clothes in my bro's closet,

(I had to make up space for my clothes in his closet,

and clearly his closet was quite FULL already)

I can only manage 1 tiny corner,

and EVERYTIME I had to dig for my clothes.

(and I mean tip-toe and DIG.)

Just the thought of it makes everything so PATHETIC.

I feel VERY PATHETIC.

I hate it when ppl have to question me on

something that has ALREADY happen.

What do you want me to do?!

Go back in time and undo everything?!

All the questioning just make me sick,

I just found a solution to it.

JUST SMILE and 'pretend' you agree.

What the FUCK do you want me to say?!

'Aiya I wished I had done it also',

'I feel like an idiot' etc.

FUCK it all.

Doesn't make anything better that

I'm listening to a rather sad song now.

But the song is GREAT!

Got it while watching a German drama

about gay love and couple.

I find it fascinating in fact,

AND PLEASE!

don't ever ask me why I watched it.

Kind of fed up with explaining.

Btw, interested in watching forbidden love,

but sick of watching the normal opposite sex love,

do check out the gay couples.

As The World Turns (American Soap Opera):

Luke and Noah.

Verbotene Liebe (German Soap Opera,

German for 'Forbidden Love':

Christian and Oliver.

(and yup, they speak German,

but youtube got english subbed version)

Both the 2 come from soap operas,

which normally spans for over 10 years type.

but people in love with these 2 couples

have took the liberty to specially cut out

ONLY their parts n post on utube.

Their scenes span more than 1 year on TV,

but you could see it on utube in 1 - 2 days.

(That's how soap operas work,

you sometimes get only a few mintues

in a whole week of airing.)

And, ya, German guys look SOOO much better.

They somehow cheered me up

for the last couple of days.

I like watching those heart-wrenching love stories,

like forbidden love,

and how they fight the right to love each other,

DESPITE what others say behind their back.

You know what?

I'm starting to show respect to those same sex couple.

So long as they are happy with each other?

Why talk about them?

You won't know, someday you will be 1 of them!