Bdae Cakes?!

Bdae Cakes?!

Here are e pics for ytd and today~

First file:

- People involved: TR21

- Place: NP classroom 56-06-13

- Time: 17th Nov 3+pm

- Evidence: cake,transparency

Second file:

- People involved: RBK GANG

- Place: Cineleisure Cafe Cartel; PS GV; PS McDonalds

- Time: 17th Nov 6+pm - 12+am

- Evidence: cake, people photos, movie tix

Third file:

- People involved: Mummy & Daddy

- Place: Home

- Time: 18th Nov 12+pm

- Evidence: cake

Forth file:

- People involved: HH, WP, YF

- Place: Cine KBOX; Bugis Ajiteh

- Time: 18th Nov 2+pm - 9+pm

- Evidence: cake, present, food!!

Others:

- 18th Nov clothing

Happy Bdae to me~!

Happy Bdae to me~!

Yeah....
today is my bdae..haha..
So,
I wanna wish myself..
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Haha...lame..
anyway, bdae wishes are so hard to make.
People ask u to make a wish..
you actually get mind-block
and dunno what to wish for..
amazing thing is,
Super Junior keeps popping into my head
for no reason..
twice already...haiz..

I will post some pics later...
coz will have more pics to take!!
I just want to take this opportunity
to thank all those who have celebrated my bdae
with me yesterday..

THATS RIGHT TR21!!
You people rox man~!
Thank you aLL for the cake and transparency!
very sorry that it smerged..
I wasn't able to take great care of it..
But still..thank you for everything!!
I'M so HAPPY that I'm part of the family.
hope we always stay together and
come out with a GREAT open house project ok?!
Let's ALL JIA YOU!!!
FIGHTING~~~!!

And secondly,
the RBK GANG!!
haha....actuallyRBK stands for Reebok
if you all don't know..
anyway, you guys are also great!
Really got me surprised when you all appear..
actually before that already got suspect
something wrong le...
but I tried to keep my suspicion low..
so everything will work out as planned!!
Heard you all wanted to 'book' me today..
super sorry!!
Hope you all enjoy urself with e movie and everything also.
the cake was fantastic too!!
So was the movie 'Casino Royale'
although a little bit 'sensored' haha.....

I know I have great friends..
that I can lean on when I'm down..
I LOVE YOU ALL~!!
MUACKS!!

My attire for ytd~

Sneak Peak of my room..haha....

Current things

Current things

Current wallpaper on my hp:

Current songS:

Big Bang (5 members) - Lalala http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyBRRzD-izs

G-Dragon (person above): This Love http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa6qRyliNPU

G-Dragon, T.O.P: We Belong Together http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOcPbPWMOhs

Current Favourite:

Kwon Ji Yong (guy above aka G-Dragon)

Current Breakfast:

Carrot Cake

Current Feeling:

Bdae pls dun come!!

So Fast

So Fast

omfg.

Time passes so fast.

It's already my bdae tml.

How quick is that?

I use to look forward to my birthdays,

truthly looking more forward to girfts.

Haha...I very greedy hor?

But who doesn't?

U give me sweets I also happy.

Hint Hint.

Anyway,

what I want to say is,

I suddenly do not want my bdae to come at all.

Coz it's like,

gonna pass by so quickly just like any other day.

For other people is just any other ordinary saturday.

But of course for me it is different mah.

Haha...

Speaking of bdae,

reminds of what I have learnt in FnB.

Moments of Truth.

you will also get this moment of truth on ur bdae.

Like who are the people who actually cares for you.

But likewise I mention before.

It may not be accurate also.

Haha..so either way,

also cannot trust.

Haiz.

I suddenly want to be in Korea desperately.

I want to spend my bdae there.

Shopping like crazy.

Why?

Coz korean cothes are nice!!

Especially this season.

Autumn to Winter.

Everywhere you see,

people wear long sleeves,

or 2 layer clothing.

and I LOVE the jackets too~~

Hurry!!

Someone go Korea now and buy me clothes!!

Now I feel so stupid go to Korea when it's

Summer to Autumn.

You tell me wear what long sleeve?!

Haiz..stupid poly also.

so odd de academic yr.

Want to go Korea de winter also cannot.

Wanna die ar?!

Don't let me go!!

Faster close down bah!!

You better send me to Korea for attachment!!

Though I know it's impossible............

I'm like having alot of thoughts

before my bdae.

I wonder if I will have any after that?

I think will have.

Haha.

My prediction.

Birthday go away,

come again another year~

Random

Random

I want SJ to cook me seaweed soup!!

I want to go korea...

I want to make my birthday wish there...

I want SJ to be there with me...

I want to see them...

But guess what?!

It's 200% impossible.

I'm just cheating myself.

Just to make me feel better.

What are birthdays?!

What are birthdays?!

Seriously,

birthdays are just 'special' days where you were born into this world.

It sounds 'special' enough,

but they are just any other ordinary days of the year.

Having to go through the same days every yr,

why can't we jus celebrate once and for all?

No need to trouble people with birthday wishes and presents.

No need for thinking about where to go eat.

I'm beginning to lose faith in birthdays.

Koreans have their birthdays celebrated with seaweed soup in the morning.

What do we Singaporeans have?

Celebrities are made to keep their birthday parties a secret.

People want birthday parties where they can never have.

Birthday also comes with lots of problems.

You not only get 1 yr older,

you also get 1 more problem added on the list.

Yes, you may be given 3 wishes,

but do you actually get them before the next birthday?

If not, it will be like the same wishes every yr.

Birthdays can also be a day where friends come together.

But mind that,

some friends ONLY talk to you because its ur birthday.

After that day, you never get calls from them anymore.

Since you are the birthday girl,

people will automatically treat you differently.

You feel blessed and grateful.

But what?! Only for 1 day?

Maybe I'm asking too much.

But that is how some people act.

I'm gonna think that,

this year will be no different.

Maybe a little more quiet.

Whatever so, I should feel glad on that day.

Afterall its my birthday..

what to do when your brother decides to go for camp during the weekends?

What to do if you have to work on that day?

Every yr, the situation changes.

But one fact remains.

I'm having my shitty birthday this saturday.

Maybe I should just stay at home.

World of Idols

World of Idols

Well, I know its a bit late,

but I just realise,

I live in a world FULL of idols.

I mean those you see on tv?

Either MCing, dancing, singing etc.

Ok. I just came to realise that.

I think I'm beginning to drift further away from the REAL world.

Day by day,

I seem to be living in my OWN world.

To no surprise, world of IDOLS.

They seem to be in every part of my mind.

Even when I eat or do homework,

they seem to be there.

There to keep me at peace.

There to keep me occupied in something,

rather than thinking of unnecessary things.

The idea of me meeting my fav idol

keeps getting deeper and deeper day by day.

Am I losing contact with the REAL world?

I'm sick of the REAL world.

So much to face everyday.

Does a NORMAL teen go through all this everyday?

Thinking of problems,

and making them worse.

How I REALLY wish,

I was out of this world.

To somewhere,

somewhere where I can find comfort in.

No Worries, no sadness, no anger.

No Happiness, no joyness, no hope.

Just plain me,

and probably with my IDOLS?

HAHA.

I'm dreaming.

Everyone knows that can never happen.

Everybody wishes so.

But nobody was ever granted their wish.

Why?

Unfair right?

Kwon Ji Yong.

Another idol noted on my list of IDOLS.

All I can say is,

the list WILL go on.

There is no way I can stop myself from 'picking' up anymore.

I guess it is a way to numb my other thoughts.

People simply enter my life,

and then just leave without a trace.

They leave a HUGE hole in my heart,

but were never there to mend it.

How I wish I was in Korea.

Able to speak korean.

Not having to worry about friends.

Just there to do pure visitation.

If I have the money,

I would REALLY want to stay in Korea

as much as I can.

Not having to worry about getting a job for money,

not having to worry about accommodations.

Not having to worry about how the people will think about me,

coz they DON'T know you at all.

Stay all by myself,

visit places by myself,

shop and eat by myself.

Not having to worry about meeting Korean friends.

My problems will only start from there.

You think I should go into poetry?!

What to do?

What to do?

ok. finally I blogged after dunno how many weeks.

recently, there has been WAY too much that happened.

make me no mood to blog also.

as usual, have been really negative for the past weeks.

never seem to get anything done when Im down.

I feel like an alien.

Like I never notice how the world around me has changed so much.

I'm not in secondary school anymore.

The fact I have to face is that,

I'm already a Poly student,

and have been one 1.5 yrs ago.

Nothing is like secondary school times.

Everyone is growing up.

Everyone have developed many different thinkings.

But I still feel I'm stuck at point zero.

Until now then I realise,

many things are no as simple as it is anymore.

Some problems we have to go through before we actually mature up.

obstacles that I have to overcome everyday.

The only way to do it,

is to live one day at a time.

Thinking ahead or back will not help me at all.

Focusing myself on the day that Im at now

will get rid of all thoughts for the past few days

will get rid of thoughts I have for the future.

What for think so much?

When you know whatever you long for

will never come through?

When you know your friends are carrying burdens

and you can't help them at all?

When you have got problems yourself

but wouldn't want to face them?

I've also come to realise

I actually don't know some of my friends at all.

What to do?

What not to do?

Nobody can tell you all this.

Only you can take control of things you wanna do and nt do.

Only you can control whether to fall sick or not.

Only you can control what you think and act.

Life is like that bah.

You need to control your own destiny.

People can affect your thinking,

but ultimately, you have to make your own decisions.

If this carries on,

I don't know how long I can hold on.

Thoughts

Thoughts

Hello~~

Back from Korea...

Quite long ago le...haha...

Sorry, now then blog...

getting super lazy..

can't even stand myself also...

Anyway,

really bought lots of stuff from Korea..

my daddy really going to go broke..

Korea stuff are much much more ex than Singapore stuff..

seriously, if you were to compare the price with S'pore,

you WILL NEVER want to buy the product le..

other than the price issue,

took lots of pictures too~~

I may upload some in time to come..

I won't say I WILL,

cause I know I may not post in the end....

so, just leave it there first...haha..

the real intention of me blogging right now

is surprisingly not bout Korea trip..

As the title says,

THOUGHTS.

I have lots of thoughts now...

really want to write them out

so I will feel better...

A lot of ppl are already wondering why

I keep bloging negative stuff about life..

I also dunno why..

But blogging seems to be the only way.

Even though I know ppl will be reading my blog,

I still carry on...

These are stuff I can NEVER say out face to face..

as some may know,

I'm an extreme Introvert.

I have no confidence in myself, no courage at all.

Blogging seems to help me a bit...

Some ppl may also realise I talk better on msn

or on words...

I really can't do much verbally....

I only listen...

I'm not good at words either.....

I sometimes stammer when I talk...

due to excitment I guess...

Maybe I shouldn't have joined ISAN in the first place..

I shouldn't have known all those ppl also....

Sometimes I really feel left out..

I hate that.

But sometimes really can't help it also...

I give up too easily...

I can't seem to get anything done.

I really envy some ppl...

they can just communicate so well with a 'snap'

I can't.

Really felt like crying today..

the feeling is coming back again.

Kept pushing my tears back..

kept calling myself an idiot..

But what to do?

Life still goes on...

even without me.

There are many things in life that I long for,

but I know the more I want them,

the more they become apart from me.

God has his ways of controlling my life...

I can never go against it..

he has created me like this..

I'm really thankful for it.

No matter how much I complain,

I will still thank him for making me.

Complaining does not help much either.

Some things in life are really untouchable,

you know its untouchable,

but you can't help it but to go and disturb it.

In the end everything turns out worst than before.

Really, let nature takes its course.

If God want me to cry,

I'll cry..

Still got many things going through my mind.

Not so good pening them down also.

Maybe I should go open up another blog.

Private one..

where I can write whatever I want....

I don't know whether to call myself

lucky or unlucky to have known you guys.

Busy in Korea

Busy in Korea

By the time you ppl see this post,

I will be in Korea le..

if not, then on the way there...

haha....

Anyway, just wanna post something before I go...

So this blog wouldn't be like

"Why no post de?!"

hahaz...so tell you all first!!

I AM IN KOREA!!!

Don't miss me too much ok?

hahaz...

though think Im gonna miss you all a lot too~~

can't chat on msn often liao...

want to sms also must think twice,

heard one outgoing sms can be 40-50cents...

don't even think bout calling...

Anyway, hope I can enjoy myself~

Time to put everything aside,

Time to enjoy myself,

Time to think about SUPER JUNIOR!!!

It's KOREA TIME!!

K-O-R-E-A

K-O-R-E-A

Sorry ppl~~

for having to worry bout me...

My mood changes very quickly nowadays..

I also can't control...

Anyway,

I'll be going to Korea in 6 days time!!!

I'm SUPER excited bout it...

my daddy also went to change currency today..

and its the first time i see and touch and 'smell' Korean Won..

hahaz...cool leh~~~

Even went to buy special Autumn coat...

black de~~like detective....

Detective Cassandra reporting for duty!

haha..crazy.......

My mum seem to be able to find out new info bout Korea everyday.

She either calls relative who have been to Korea,

or went down to SA headquarters to find out..

she like much more excited than me...

and I'm happy about it of course...

after all she almost scared me to tears,

when my dad told me I may have to go alone...

something like my mum couldn't go..

I even thought of her having some disease...

CHOY~~touch wood...

in the end I was worrying too much..

actually up til now I still dunno wat was the reason...

but nvm! It's over....

I'm finally going to Korea WITH MY DEAREST MUMMY~~

my DADDY also very dearest of course..

he pay for the trip, change currency for us,

give us tips etc....haha.....

and all my BRO does is....

'tap tap tap....click click click.....tap tap tap...scroll scroll scroll'

typical.

Oh oh!!!

I just bought SUPER JUNIOR 05 CD today!!

22 September 2006 is a memorable day....

it's the day I bought their VERY FIRST album..

the day I officially call myself a SJ fan..

hahaz....i also manage to collect a few of their articles...

going to put all together and form a wallpaper..

maybe can collect and form a SJ book..

wooott~~

Seeing more and more of Fei Lun Hai these days also..

still remember them?

I hope you all do...

coz they are back!!

hahaz.....with their first album...

nice songs actually....

thinking want to buy or not....

the pictures are BIG and shuai~~~~

haha...can put as wallpaper le!!!

My room the wallpapers very out-of-date le...haiz..

Give me K

'K'

Give me O

'O'

Give me R

'R'

Give me E

'E'

Give me A

'A'

What do you get?

korea~~

I can't hear you!

KOREA~~

One more time!!

KOREA~~~~~~

woooooooooooooooooooooooooo KOREA!!!

DOTZ.

Energy is back too..

though with only 3 ppl left,

they are still as hot as ever..

hahaha~~~~

love their new style~~

Yoyo ENERGY is back!~~~

Just finish IMF work from 11-20 Sep 2006..

actually wasn't as bad as I thought...

in fact, I kind of miss all of it...

including all the people I've talked to..

security guards, gurkhas, CFAs, VAs, FMs etc.....

the list just goes on....

at least for once I feel proud to be part of it..

afterall, we each got a FREE 512mb thumbdrive in our goodie bag..

$350+ in my bank account soon~

and lots of new friendship!!

What more could I have asked for?

Waiting for the day I finally leave Singapore for awhile.

These 8 days is crucial for me to forget everything in Singapore.

At least for the moment...

no reason

no reason

Haven't been feeling well lately, very moody.

I apologize if I've caused any worries or misunderstandings.

Don't know what is the reason either,

just don't feel very good.

Even if I gotten my skates already,

still feeling very negative.

I just can't stop thinking about negative stuff.

Think I'm going crazy.

I feel like I have split personality,

maybe thats why nobody want to talk to me.

I close up myself too much.

Sometimes find myself standing there alone,

with all the other people surrounding me,

talking in their groups.

This happened too much already,

but I can't seem to find the courage to approach.

Remember when we gathered for a concert,

to bid our Guides seniors farewell.

As the concert ended,

everybody started to gather around the seniors.

That was when I realise,

I didn't knew anyone at all.

I just stood around the exit of our hall,

and watch the night sky.

I force myself not to think too much,

while forcing my tears back in.

I hate myself for being timid.

I hate myself for thinking too much.

I hate myself for being so closed up.

I hate being lonely.

I hate having to type all this in my blog.

I never seem to get anything right.

I hate my life.

I don't belong in this world.

Depression

Depression

Everything is not going smooth today,

don't want to dwell too much on it.

Trying to find a way to let my emotions out,

don't want it to affect my performance for IMF.

Don't want people to know,

guessing a smile can put every thought away.

Super random post,

but that is how I feel.

Crying in the shower doesn't help much either.

The reason I close my eyes,

is to stop tears from flowing.

Skates~

Skates~

Oh man~~

the skates will only be in tml~~

but we may be going down on Wed to take a look..!

Woohoo~~~~

hahaz...

Went to skate with Evon Jean Teng and Evon's bro n bro's friends..

Teng was really really fast...

i mean she learns quite fast..

and moves fast also..

although she was walking most of the time..

but she was doing quite fine~~

then, she fell....

somemore she landed in the position of her hands by the side supporting..

and i mean with the palm on the ice..

so basically u would have stretched the wrist part.

dunno how to explain..but ya...

have to visualise...

I got that once too....

it was my left hand somemore...

and it took quite a while for the pain to TOTALLY disappear...

it really hurts.

so teng went home early...

then evon's bro n his friend also left...

so it was left with us 3~

and wat can 3 person do?

hahaz...

we tried speed skating...

or what u call that,

when one person skates FAST..

then the rest follow behind in 1 line..

ya...hahaz...it was quite fun actually...

coz there were quite a lot of ppl,

so we had to 'siam' ppl almost all the time..

and most of them are kids..

and yup.WITH the bar thingy~~

so actually it was pretty dangerous also..hahaz..

anywayz, after the speed thing..we all got tired..

there were getting fewer n fewer ppl too..

but it was getting quite boring...

so we thought of going to catch a movie somewhere..

in the end we chose to watch Devil Wears Prada.

took a quick dinner at the jap place at JE,

then took an mrt down to Woodlands..

realise we were 10+mins late for the movie..

so by the time we got our tix and the popcorn,

the show already started..

and our seat was quite in front...

the screen was super big..

so the 3 of us had to sit as low as possible,

so we could see better..hahaz.

Today was quite enjoyable actually.

Considering that next week onwards would be quite tough.

So must enjoy the most of this week as much as possible.

Hahaz....

at least can lighten the nervousness..

I think.

Btw, just a side note..

SuJu has just ended their 'U' Single Promo..

so basically, I wun get to see much of their performances..

thats really sad..

in the mean time,

they still have other schedules like shows and dramas and radios for some..

and they are starting on their new album!!

I'm sure it will be great!!

SuJu, Fighting!!!

Tengz...hope you get well soon~

must Jia You for the audition!!

IMF...hope everytime will turn out fine~

please dun give me any huge problems.

SuJu...hope to see you in Korea~

Keep Fighting!!!

Sarang Haeyo~~

SJ craze?

SJ craze?

looks like im back to SJ again..

hahaz...

I've successfully turned Evon into another SJ fanatic~

I'm quite pro right?

haha....I feel so happy knowing she is crazy over them also...

anyway, my trip to Korea has been postponed a day later..

so that means, its confirmed!!!

WOOT~~~SUPER JUNIOR: HERE I COME!!!

SJ have been REALLY busy lately...

if you have seen their schedule...

its super jam-packed with performances and shows and radios...

but to us fans its a good sign..

that they are getting more and more popular as i speak..

and the bad sign is,

they are going to fall ill easily if this goes on....

Currently Heechul is still in the hospital,

but he seems to be doing well...

gaining his strength back day by day....

heard that Siwon and Kibum both got injured while shooting X-Man in China..

they were both back in Korea a few days ago...

Donghae seems to be keeping up fine too,

but initially some of his performances were a little 'too high',

make him look like he is purposely trying very hard to get his spirit back..

in the end make it too obvious that he is forcing himself...

but after a while, he was back to normal smiling Lee Dong Hae~~~

The boy by the sea...haha.....

Oh..and if you have noticed the few of us playing games,

we got those games from SJ~~

we watched some of their shows and learnt them down..

this is the video to the latest one....

you will understand it better if you know how to read Korean...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eIy57uYQtI

It is a really fun game...it has got rythm in it somemore...

looking forward to playing this game with more people..

haha...coz i know how to play le!!

After studying the video for countless times....

As for what I have been doing lately,

nothing much..except for the training for IMF last Mon & Tues..

but I'm ok with the 8am to 6+pm timing...

at least we got free morning break food, lunch and afternoon tea...

++ we get $35 each day also...

haha....cool ar~~

The training were quite fun..

just that our class were all seperated into groups...

beside that point, everything else was enjoyable..

now the thing is...

I don't know if I can do my job well on those days..

You will still get this sense of nervousness as the days draw near...

those fateful 10 days....

then you will start thinking of all types of senarios that could happen..

including terrorists....

my first day of work is somemore Sep 11....

the very frist day of the 10-day meeting arrangements...

somehow, you will not feel so good about it...

but I really hope nothing happens during those days.....

I'm also in the midst of preparing my trip to Korea...

will need to 'shop' for the necessary stuff starting next week..

almost forgot there will be a fire drill on the sep 7 for the IMF thing..

haiz...they really took 4 years to prepare all this...

a LOT of hard work put into it...

I just hope I don't screw up..

May the force of SJ be with me~~

haha...dotz...

AZA~FIGHTING!!!!