What to do?

What to do?

ok. finally I blogged after dunno how many weeks.

recently, there has been WAY too much that happened.

make me no mood to blog also.

as usual, have been really negative for the past weeks.

never seem to get anything done when Im down.

I feel like an alien.

Like I never notice how the world around me has changed so much.

I'm not in secondary school anymore.

The fact I have to face is that,

I'm already a Poly student,

and have been one 1.5 yrs ago.

Nothing is like secondary school times.

Everyone is growing up.

Everyone have developed many different thinkings.

But I still feel I'm stuck at point zero.

Until now then I realise,

many things are no as simple as it is anymore.

Some problems we have to go through before we actually mature up.

obstacles that I have to overcome everyday.

The only way to do it,

is to live one day at a time.

Thinking ahead or back will not help me at all.

Focusing myself on the day that Im at now

will get rid of all thoughts for the past few days

will get rid of thoughts I have for the future.

What for think so much?

When you know whatever you long for

will never come through?

When you know your friends are carrying burdens

and you can't help them at all?

When you have got problems yourself

but wouldn't want to face them?

I've also come to realise

I actually don't know some of my friends at all.

What to do?

What not to do?

Nobody can tell you all this.

Only you can take control of things you wanna do and nt do.

Only you can control whether to fall sick or not.

Only you can control what you think and act.

Life is like that bah.

You need to control your own destiny.

People can affect your thinking,

but ultimately, you have to make your own decisions.

If this carries on,

I don't know how long I can hold on.

Thoughts

Thoughts

Hello~~

Back from Korea...

Quite long ago le...haha...

Sorry, now then blog...

getting super lazy..

can't even stand myself also...

Anyway,

really bought lots of stuff from Korea..

my daddy really going to go broke..

Korea stuff are much much more ex than Singapore stuff..

seriously, if you were to compare the price with S'pore,

you WILL NEVER want to buy the product le..

other than the price issue,

took lots of pictures too~~

I may upload some in time to come..

I won't say I WILL,

cause I know I may not post in the end....

so, just leave it there first...haha..

the real intention of me blogging right now

is surprisingly not bout Korea trip..

As the title says,

THOUGHTS.

I have lots of thoughts now...

really want to write them out

so I will feel better...

A lot of ppl are already wondering why

I keep bloging negative stuff about life..

I also dunno why..

But blogging seems to be the only way.

Even though I know ppl will be reading my blog,

I still carry on...

These are stuff I can NEVER say out face to face..

as some may know,

I'm an extreme Introvert.

I have no confidence in myself, no courage at all.

Blogging seems to help me a bit...

Some ppl may also realise I talk better on msn

or on words...

I really can't do much verbally....

I only listen...

I'm not good at words either.....

I sometimes stammer when I talk...

due to excitment I guess...

Maybe I shouldn't have joined ISAN in the first place..

I shouldn't have known all those ppl also....

Sometimes I really feel left out..

I hate that.

But sometimes really can't help it also...

I give up too easily...

I can't seem to get anything done.

I really envy some ppl...

they can just communicate so well with a 'snap'

I can't.

Really felt like crying today..

the feeling is coming back again.

Kept pushing my tears back..

kept calling myself an idiot..

But what to do?

Life still goes on...

even without me.

There are many things in life that I long for,

but I know the more I want them,

the more they become apart from me.

God has his ways of controlling my life...

I can never go against it..

he has created me like this..

I'm really thankful for it.

No matter how much I complain,

I will still thank him for making me.

Complaining does not help much either.

Some things in life are really untouchable,

you know its untouchable,

but you can't help it but to go and disturb it.

In the end everything turns out worst than before.

Really, let nature takes its course.

If God want me to cry,

I'll cry..

Still got many things going through my mind.

Not so good pening them down also.

Maybe I should go open up another blog.

Private one..

where I can write whatever I want....

I don't know whether to call myself

lucky or unlucky to have known you guys.